Why did the chicken cross the road? 
Source: Sid Burns 

PAT BUCHANAN: 
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. 

DR. SEUSS: 
Did the chicken cross the road? 
Did he cross it with a toad? 
Yes! 
The chicken crossed the road, 
but why it crossed, 
I've not been told! 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. 

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: 
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: 
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: 
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 

KARL MARX: 
It was a historical inevitability. 

SADDAM HUSSAIN: 
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: 
What chicken? 

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: 
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. 

FOX MULDER: 
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have
to cross before you believe it?

FREUD: 
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: 
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of theChicken.

EINSTEIN: 
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON: 
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: 
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE: 
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: 
I missed one?