Top 10 reasons computers must be male:
     ========================================

     10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
     9.  A better model is always just around the corner.
     8.  They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
     7.  It is always necessary to have a backup.
     6.  They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
     5.  The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
     4.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
     3.  The lights are on but nobody's home.
     2.  Big power surges knock them out for the night.
     1.  Size does matter


     Top 10 reasons compilers must be female:
     ========================================

     10. Picky, picky, picky.
     9.  They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
     8.  Beauty is only shell deep.
     7.  When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
     6.  Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
     5.  Always turning simple statements into big productions.
     4.  Smalltalk is important.
     3.  You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
     2.  They make you take the garbage out.
     1.  Miss a period and they go wild


And more...

TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE 
     
5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 
     
4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've 
   established a network connection.
     
3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than
   they have to and they won't think of it on their own. 
     
2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in 
   for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so 
   much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an 
   underpowered system.
     
1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have 
   their attention.
     
FIVE REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE:  
     
5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 
     
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for
   future reference.
     
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is 
   incomprehensible to everyone else.
     
2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If
   you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell 
   you." 
     
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
   half your paycheck on accessories for it.