Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Kennedy, and others speak of the
"Homosexual Agenda" but no one has ever seen a copy of it.  Well, I
managed to sneak into Homosexual Headquarters and got a copy.  Here it is:

The Homosexual Agenda
06:00   Gym
08:00   Breakfast (oatmeal and eggwhites)
09:00   Hair appointment
10:00   Shopping (Macy's or Nordstrom)
12:00   Brunch
14:00   (1) Assume complete control of U.S. Federal, state, and 
        local governments, as well as all the other national
        governments.
        (2) Destroy all healthy marriages
        (3) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with
        militant homosexuals who seek to recruit children for
        the homosexual lifestyle
        (4) Bulldoze all houses of worship
        (5) Seize control of Internet and all other media
        (6) Be utterly fabulous
15:00   Beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stresses 
        of world conquest, followed by aroma therapy
16:00   Cocktails
17:00   Light dinner (soup, salad with arugula & balsamic vinegar
        dressing, Chardonnay)
20:00   Theater
22:00   Cocktails in a charming neighborhood bistro 
00:00   Bed (du jour)